I cannot bear the idea of seeing my husband and having him hand me over the ‘get’. He is an extremely violent person – because of this the rabbinical court ordered him to grant me a divorce . Can I receive my ‘get’ without being physically present at the ceremony ?
By: דיאנה שאלתיאל•Published on: 09 May, 2022
Yes! There is no need for a wife to receive the ‘get’ from her husband in person. Jewish law permits the use of messengers in the divorce ceremony .Two types of messenger are recognized in this context – the ‘sending’ messenger, and the ‘receiving’ messenger. The ‘sending’ messenger represents the husband, and his role is to pass the ‘get’ to the wife, or to her messenger or representative. The ‘receiving ’ messenger’s role is to receive the ‘get’ from the husband or his messenger.
Where a husband and wife live in the same country but want to avoid meeting at the actual divorce ceremony it is usual for the husband to give the ‘get’ to his own messenger and once he has left the rabbinical court the wife then appears there to receive the ‘get’ from the messenger.Alternatively, the wife can appoint a messenger to receive the ‘get’ for her. The use of two sets of messengers usually occurs where the parties live in different countries.
A messenger or representative must be nominated carefully by the rabbinical court in a special document permitting him to act on behalf of one of the sides in the divorce ceremony. This is shown to the husband/his messenger before the ‘get’ is accepted on behalf of the wife, and before it is finally given to her.
Until the ‘get’ is actually received properly according to Jewish law , the wife is still married.