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Cohabitation

Home / I have been dating a man who has been divorced twice, with children from both marriages. I love him. He has told me he wants our relationship to be permanent. I am worried that if I marry him, he’ll walk out as he did in his previous marriages. On the other hand, if I just live with him , I would be ‘freer’ but have less financial security if he walked out. We are both Jewish. He does not own an apartment. Which option gives me more financial security, marriage or cohabitation ?

I have been dating a man who has been divorced twice, with children from both marriages. I love him. He has told me he wants our relationship to be permanent. I am worried that if I marry him, he’ll walk out as he did in his previous marriages. On the other hand, if I just live with him , I would be ‘freer’ but have less financial security if he walked out. We are both Jewish. He does not own an apartment. Which option gives me more financial security, marriage or cohabitation ?

By: דיאנה שאלתיאלPublished on: 16 May, 2022

If a husband walks out on his wife and they were both married according to Jewish law, she is entitled to maintenance , until such time as they divorce. However, if a Jewish woman cohabits with a Jewish man without marriage she is not entitled to maintenance from him if they split up, unless she can prove there was an agreement between them regarding this . If the couple make a written agreement which covers the issue of maintenance then this is advantageous to the woman, but if the agreement is oral it will be more difficult to prove.

Being married to a man according to Jewish law provides a woman with more financial security in terms of being supported by him, than would be the case if she were to cohabit with him outside marriage. A Jewish woman who could have married her Jewish husband according to religious law but chose to marry in a civil ceremony is in a better position than she would be if she merely cohabited with him, but is in an inferior position compared to a wife married in a traditional Jewish ceremony. This is because their marriage is unrecognized by Jewish law and she has no automatic right to maintenance based on it. She must look to civil law for her right to support. This is more egalitarian than Jewish law, and takes her own income into account.


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