Marriage and Divorce

Quite possibly, as occurred before Tel Aviv Family Court several years ago when the court turned down a maintenance plea filed by a wife – who would neither divorce or let her spouse return home – but also gave expression to the husband’s willingness to pay her money if she divorced. It said that if within 10 days she signed a joint application to divorce without any preconditions, attended a divorce hearing at the rabbinate and co-operated at the divorce ceremony, she would receive 36,000 N.I.S. maintenance in the form of “ adaptation money” for the year preceding the divorce – all because of her husband’s implied agreement to this.

No – this will not succeed according to a case decided in 2000 where during a divorce hearing at the rabbinical court the husband threatened to file for ‘Shlom Bayit’ if the wife did not agree to his demand to transfer the plea for child maintenance she had opened at the family court , and put it under the exclusive jurisdiction of the rabbinical court. It was held that the husband should divorce the wife immediately , without any conditions and that if he failed to appear at the divorce ceremony, or attend but refused to co-operate, restrictive orders would be made against him.

The general rule is that a Jewish husband who married in a Jewish religious wedding ceremony has an obligation to give his wife maintenance during their marriage. This obligation ends when they divorce. If a Jewish divorcee receives maintenance after her divorce this is an exception.

This exceptional situation can arise when the husband has an interest in persuading his wife to divorce as quickly as possible ( e.g. if he has a lover and she is pregnant and he wishes to marry her) and his wife is not so interested in divorce, or is not in a hurry to divorce. To tempt his wife to agree to divorce he may offer her a financial incentive – maintenance after the divorce.

Another situation where a woman may get maintenance after divorce is where there is a “balancing” or “equalization” of marital property between them and the husband owes the wife money. He may not be able to pay her a lump sum in which case the debt can be paid in the form of maintenance after divorce.

Yes, the fact that a wife files her husband for maintenance at the family court does not in any way stop him from either filing a plea to reconcile their marriage (‘shlom bayit’) or one to divorce, at the rabbinical court.

From a man’s viewpoint it is best to file for divorce at the rabbinical court. Custody is automatically tied to the plea, but a wife’s maintenance is only included if it is genuinely and correctly bound according to strict criteria. To include property the divorce plea must be both explicit and detailed about this. Any property not specifically mentioned will not be included in the plea.

If, however, the wife pre-empts the issue and files for child custody and maintenance for herself and the children and even takes certain steps regarding property at the family court, then the husband will be prevented from filing for these at the rabbinical court, which will then only have jurisdiction regarding the divorce.

As a rule, it is in the husband’s interests for jurisdiction for proceedings regarding maintenance and property to be at the rabbinical court, while it is in the wife’s interests for t hem to be at the family court.

Jewish law gives a preference to living in Israel as opposed to the Diaspora .

A spouse’s desire to leave Israel can be sufficient grounds for divorce if held to be unjustifiable given all the circumstances. The built-in bias is not absolute and during periods when “aliyah” was dangerous a spouse’s refusal to emigrate to Israel was considered justifiable, and , therefore, not sufficient to merit grounds for divorce. Your wife’s desire to leave Israel could be grounds for divorce if a rabbinical court felt that her refusal to stay was unjustifiable.

If you do not want to divorce you could apply for “Shlom Bayit” ( plea for marital reconciliation) at the rabbinical court and ask for an order preventing her leaving the country. This may “buy time” and help if the rift in your marriage can be healed. Under Jewish law a wife is expected to respect her husband’s desire to move within the country they live in – so you could suggest a quieter location within Israel and your wife cannot unjustifiably refuse unless she wants to risk losing her right to maintenance.

Transgressing Jewish Law is one of the behavioural – based grounds of divorce available to a Jewish husband. By not keeping Jewish law the wife is regarded as failing her husband and leading her husband astray from the correct path. An example would be where she falsely claims to keep a Kosher home but actually feeds her husband ‘Treife ‘ like pig meat or non-Kosher food . The same applies if she openly desecrates the Sabbath and he observes it. If, however, the husband does not observe the Sabbath he cannot divorce his wife because she does not observe it. Also, if the wife can prove she mistakenly acted in a forbidden manner she will have a defence against her husband’s claim that she knowingly broke Jewish law.

Jewish law distinguishes between severe and irreversible psychiatric/mental conditions which result in the sufferer being totally cut off from reality and less severe conditions where the person does, from time to time, understand what is going on around them, with or without taking medication.

If a Jewish wife suffers from a severe, irreversible psychiatric condition, then she will lack the capacity to consent to divorce. In this situation the husband can apply to the rabbinical court for permission to ‘take another wife’ without divorcing her.

Where a Jewish wife suffers from less severe psychiatric problems and her condition can be ‘balanced’ with medically prescribed drugs so that she does not show symptoms of the mental condition she is prone to , then divorce is possible. She can possess the capacity to understand the concept of divorce with all its implications – and is legally able to consent to it. Her husband can, therefore, file for divorce at the rabbinical court, detailing the grounds. If he manages to prove his case then he will be able to actually divorce, subject to his wife being ‘balanced’ and co-operative at the relevant times.

Yes, such behaviour is a transgression of Jewish law, and a ground for divorce. However, if you forgive your wife, either explicitly or implicitly by continuing to live with her and having intimate relations, you cannot then rely on her previous transgressions as grounds upon which you ask the rabbinical court to order her to accept a “get” (divorce).